ch-ch-ch-changes

Living in New York again is interesting. On one hand, I feel very much like I did when I was an intern, and it's very difficult processing in my brain that this is quite the permanent situation. On the other hand, the city's shine isn't what it used to be in my mind, mostly because all I think about are bills, paying them, money, paychecks, how to get them, etc.

Last night I went to an old intern haunt with Harry and Simon, a place called Nevada Smith's that does karaoke on Thursday nights. If you've ever met me, you are familiar with my propensity for the sacred Japanese art of singing along to your favorite records, so it was bound to be a good night, and indeed it was. I rapped to "Nuthin' But A G-Thang" and "Bust A Move," two of my signature tunes, and Simon did the most British version of "Don't Stop Believin" that I likely will ever hear. But something about it was just a little bit different.

I think that ever since I left New York that summer I've been in a state of transition. When I returned to Murray, it was my senior year, so I had to plan for the future. By January I knew I was moving to London, so I had to plan for that. Not long after I got to London I had to start thinking about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be after my master's degree was complete, and subsequently fluctuated from staying in London to moving to New York depending on the way the wind was blowing at the time. Then, I came home for a few weeks and now I'm here.

And now, I'm here. There is a permanence to that statement that I haven't felt in about two-and-a-half years. It's simultaneously an exciting relief and a terrifying prospect. It has occurred to me that maybe I am not so unlike my oldest brother in craving change a bit more than most people. I'm not intimating that I'm craving that change already -- I think I'm going to be quite happy here for quite a long time -- but I am suggesting that come April or May, it's going to be hard for me to accept that this was no trial run, and it's not time to go home. In fact, this is home.

My parents are rolling into Jersey City next week to bring the rest of my stuff from home and help me complete the settling in/nesting process at the new apartment, and of course celebrate Thanksgiving. It's very hard for me to believe that it's already this time of year, and that exactly one year ago Thursday I was being wished a Happy Thanksgiving by Londoners and attending the T-Day service at St. Paul's Cathedral. I do miss London, terribly, every day. And when my friends from that second home ask me when I'm going to just come back already, it does tug at my mind and make me wonder if/when I should or will go back with any permanence.

But I am loving the life that's developing here right now, and I'm excited to see where it's going. Hopefully it's somewhere good, and the route will be scenic.


cheers,
e. cawein

here's the thing

Here's the thing about moving. And about finding a job. And an apartment. And trying to fit approximately 77 hours worth of activities into the space of one day, which scientists tell me is actually only about 24 hours long.

Hard to do.

So now, even though it's been an embarrassing length of time since I've updated, I'm back and ready to talk about my move, all the changes in my life and the changes that will be happening here at Just A Girl in the World.

First of all, I left England. I know this seems very obvious by now, but some people just still aren't getting it. So yes, I left England, I am no longer there. Am I sad about this? Yes. Do I miss England and many (some very particular) inhabitants of that fine nation? Indeed, I do. But here I am, now in New York, and I've been here since about the middle of October.

Straight off the bat, I got a job working for an online music magazine covering the indie music scene called The Tripwire. I'll be adding it to my blogroll/links sidebar once I finish this post, so you can surf on over and have a look at what I've been up to. In my first week on the job I helped to cover CMJ, the biggest music festival in the city, and it just about killed me. But since I'm writing this and am decidedly not beyond the grave, you can deduce that I did in fact survive and have lived to blog about it.

Since then, I've been in the office for the magazine two days a week, researching and writing music news, reviewing CDs, covering bands, sorting and cataloging CDs, etc. I have loved every second of it. Unfortunately, because it's a rather small-time operation, it doesn't exactly pay the bills. In fact, it doesn't exactly pay anything. So I set out to find something to do along side it that would support me.

I accepted a job at another small, online magazine that was offering decent money, but only about 20 hours a week. I left after two days, citing the less than temporary insanity of the person for whom I was working. Lest I be further Dooced out of my paycheck, I won't mention any more details here. But I'd love to have a few beers and tell you the whole colorful story -- as long as you're buying.

So for now, I am a part-time music writer and part-time resident of bra and panty land. I started at Victoria's Secret on Friday, and I'm working in their brand new flagship store opening next week at 58th and Lexington. It's way more upscale than any other Victoria's Secret, so much more so, in fact, that my job is actually in the concierge desk, where we will be able to do coat check, online shopping, personal shopping and dinner and event reservations for our customers. It's less than ideal, but it's a nice enough place to spend the day, not a hard job and it actually will pay the bills.

Tonight is the one-week anniversary of my first night in my new apartment, and to celebrate I will be making my bed with the comforter and sheets that just arrived UPS from my mom and probably watching re-runs of Project Runway. The place is in Jersey City, near Journal Square, and it's an adorable apartment which also happens to come equipped with a great roommate.

It's certainly been a whirlwind so far. I've barely had a moment to catch my breath, and I'm just now starting to feel like I'm a little settled, a little plugged in, and I'm doing some of things I wanted to be doing. The job at The Tripwire is amazing, my editor loves me and I get to go to tons of free shows. (Which, by the way, if you're in NYC and want to be my plus one for any of the shows, just let me know! I'm starting a mailing list because I need good gig buddies.) And of course, I got to be in Times Square the night Barack Obama was elected president. Incredible.

This entry is dedicated to my mother, who often demands at gunpoint that I update my blog -- and she will be happy to know that my plans for the future involve lots of updates, and also lots of improvements. As I learn more HTML I'll be putting my knowledge to good use, redesigning and revamping the blog and hopefully relaunching by the end of the year. I've always said I wanted to be a cult blogging hero, and what better time than now to make it happen? I've got lots to say, and the entire Internet to say it to. This will not be for the faint of heart. Or stomach.

Until then, I'll keep you posted on the Panty Land Diaries and of course, tales of a true-life music writer. Now I just need to come up with a new way to sign out, since -- despite the fact that I'm drinking cider as we speak -- I'm no longer as British as I once thought I was.

for now --
just a girl in the world,
e. cawein