when stuff runs out, and other nightmares of living alone

When you first start living on your own, away from your parents, you learn things. When I was a kid, I don't think I was aware that toilet paper physically could run out. Because it just. Never. Did. We definitely were never out of milk or cereal, and let's not even get started on ketchup. I think we all know how I feel about ketchup.

In the middle of the night last night when I got up to pee and used the last few squares on the roll of TP and went back to sleep, blissfully unaware, I did not anticipate that I would be cursing my own name just a few hours later while in the midst of something that, shall we say, requires toilet paper and found that said roll had been the very last one.

And you can imagine my further dismay when I remembered after arriving home tonight that I had forgotten to pick some up. We're in a state of emergency here until tomorrow morning.

Beyond that, I also managed to slice my index finger open tonight (while chopping onions, no less, and later very wisely chose to eat a juicy orange) only to find that we are out of both a.) paper towels and b.) band-aids.

Frighteningly (as it speaks to my priorities), the only item that never goes out of stock in my home, even now that I'm living on my own, is ketchup. I'm only a little embarrassed to admit that, mostly because I think I've opined about my love for ketchup previously on this blog. (See exhibit A.) But the most frightening bit about all this is what I learned when I was living truly by myself in my little bedsit in London. I was, in fact, the only person consuming said ketchup (here I have a roommate who, though seldom, might dabble in the catsup from time to time) and came to discover that when left to my own devices, I went through one bottle of ketchup each week.

14 ounces of ketchup. Two ounces every day. Some people would find this disconcerting. I am thankful the number wasn't twice that, and also happen to have it on good authority that ketchup is made directly from tomatoes.

Last I checked, fruits and vegetables were good for you. So. There.


cheers,
e. cawein