the importance of a good pair of drawers

There's this saying. I want to tell you it's a southern saying, but that's mostly because I've only ever heard it said in the south, and by southern women. But that's not to say people in Connecticut don't say it, too, so I really can't give you the definitive regional origin right this minute.

Anyway. The saying goes something like, always make sure you have on clean underwear (and in this case I think we can take clean to also mean not the ones with the hole in the crotch) because you never know when you're going to be in a car accident. Translation: if you get into a car accident and they have to pry you out with the jaws of life and cut your clothes off to get to your heinous wounds and you have on ratty, day-old panties, just what is that going to say about you?

I guess the other reason I think this is a southern saying is because where else in the country, really, would anyone be concerned with what the hell your panties looked like if you were lying on a stretcher having your jeans sliced off by a paramedic? Only in the south, people. Of course, I think there's also a preventative aspect to the whole idea, like if you wear dirty drawers you're just asking to have your car wreck into a ravine.

Anywho. I think it wasn't until I was in college that I really started believing in the power of a good pair of underwear. And not just to prevent automobile incidents. My sophomore year, my sorority sister Jessica and I took a trip to Paducah to go shopping. While we were there, I took advantage of the old five-for-twenty panty deal at Victoria's Secret -- which is now the five-for-twenty-FIVE deal, it must be noted -- and that following week hand selected one of my new pairs of underwear for my interview for the Miss Murray State University pageant. I got into the pageant that night, and ever since then I have referred to that pair of underwear as my lucky drawers.

They got me Miss Congeniality in the actual Miss MSU pageant, they got me on Homecoming Court and they got me the Jane Hall Panhellenic Scholarship Award. They gave me many excellent performances in The Vagina Monologues, and got me through my Honors Thesis defense. And though these days they are getting a bit on the asking-for-a-car-accident side, they gave me a strong (if ridiculous) belief in the power of the right pair of panties.

Today, when my Memphis Tigers played their first NCAA tournament game, I had on Tiger-blue underwear. For their next game on Saturday, I'll probably switch it up and go with gray. God knows I have plenty to choose from, since today I counted my underwear and found that I own a total of 71 pairs. I know. Trust me, I know.

Anyone else believe in lucky underwear, or lucky charms of any sort? Or are me and my 71 pairs on our own in this one?

cheers,
elizabeth