in need of some tough love

So there's this show on VH1. (I've mentioned it once here before.) It's called Tough Love.

It's hosted by renowned matchmaker Steve Ward. Basically, Steve takes a group of women who make classic (and not so classic) mistakes in dating and relationships and shows them the err of their ways through Tough Love boot camp. He sets them up on dates with different matches and coaches them through the things they're doing that are keeping them from finding and keeping the relationship they want.

In watching Tough Love, it has come to my attention that I am an egregious violator of almost ALL of Steve's rules for dating. I overshare. I move too quickly. (Like the time I told a boyfriend that I loved him, and then about two weeks later said, actually, can we stop saying that now?) I'm husband hungry. I'm baby hungry. I'm a different version of myself in every relationship I'm in. And I regularly and routinely do things that put me in direct conflict with Steve's dating rule No. 1: Don't be weird.

So my best friend Holly, who is even more addicted to VH1 reality shows than I am -- though she has the luxury of watching them in order on an actual TV like normal people, while I watch them in snippets on the treadmill at the gym or in a four by four screen on my laptop -- suggested a few weeks ago that I apply to be on Tough Love.

I resisted at first. Mostly because, as I told her, I pretty much believe that while reality television takes trashy people's lives and makes them exponentially better, it takes normal people's lives and ruins them. But since then, I've become a more devoted fan of Tough Love, and I came to understand a fundamental difference between this show and the other standard reality fare. This show doesn't exist to embarrass these women. The things that they do in relationships are sometimes embarrassing, but that's no different than the crazy shit I admit to here all the time for all the internet to read. The show exists to help the women. And get good ratings and bring in ad revenue, of course, but also to help.

So this week, when Holly brought up the idea of me going on Tough Love for the second time, I was a bit more receptive. It didn't take much, and she talked me into it. The application is kind of involved, so I made her promise to help me fill it out when I see her next week on my trip home. After all, one of the questions is "Why would your friends say you're single?"

So I'm doing it. I'm applying to be on a reality TV show. The first step might be admitting you have a problem, but this feels like it could be my first step toward a potential future trip to the funny farm. But as Holly very wisely reminded me, there are two things to be gained from this experience: a good man and my forty-five minutes a week of fame. I do so love killing two birds with one stone. Don't y'all?

cheers,
elizabeth