the tenacity of hope

Every time I apply for a job, I like to play this game with myself called Don't Get Your Hopes Up. Don't Get Your Hopes Up goes something like this: I apply for the job, and immediately get my hopes up just a teensy bit. Then I say to myself, "Self. No. Don't do this. Don't get your hopes up." Then what happens next is I try not to think about it for as long as I can -- I usually last about 15 minutes, 20 on a good day -- and then I get my hopes up so massively that to an outside observer I may appear to demonstrate behaviors of someone on high doses of meth amphetamines.

So I've applied for this job in Nashville. For the sake of Google, I won't go into much more detail than that. It's a reporting gig with a few other neat perks, in a great location with a great salary. As soon as I found the listing for the position, I activated my own insane phone tree and called everyone I could think of who would remotely give a crap about this quasi-not-really-even-classifiable-as-news news. Then I told myself, "Self. No. Don't do this. Don't get your hopes up."

And I really tried not to get them up. Y'all, I really really did. Especially because this is one of the first jobs I've found that a.) I'm qualified for, b.) I'd enjoy and c.) is in Nashville in months. (And months and months and months.) It would be incredible if I got the gig, but the reality is that I might not, and I have to mentally prepare for that. I have to be optimistic, but realistic. I can't let my world come crashing down if they don't offer me the position.

So naturally I took that entire mental pep talk COMPLETELY to heart and spent at least half an hour on Nashville apartment listing sites, clicking through pictures of adorable homeless puppies on the Nashville Humane Society web site, contemplating moving plans, stalking the local Alpha Delta Pi chapters, finding the local Alumnae Association through the ADPi web site and reading up on their upcoming events, and of course, trying to figure out how I'd get out my lease early when that magical day arrived.

Once again, I have failed at Don't Get Your Hopes Up. It really wasn't ever a game I could win, I don't think.

The Hopes are officially up. I'd love it if you'd keep yours up for me, too.


cheers,
elizabeth