The Craziest Thing I've Ever Witnessed

I see a lot of crazy stuff here every day. Some people -- myself included, once upon a time -- might consider this to be another one of my PNYs: Perks of life in New York. Unfortunately, most of the time the crazy stuff you get to see also smells like urine or tries to touch you with the hand he wipes his ass with while tap dancing and begging for money on a crowded N train. Because usually, the "crazy stuff" is actually just certifiably crazy homeless people doing their typical, everyday-type shit while regular folks look on in horror.

Growing up in Memphis, I saw a lot of crazy stuff. And what crazy stuff I didn't see, my dad regaled me with stories of, like the time an obese lady in a house dress was chasing some city officials down a street with an ax and her robe flew open. And there was NOTHING UNDERNEATH IT. With that kind of background I tend to be fairly unimpressed with most weird stuff that happens here, but the other night while I was walking home from work the crazy quotient got taken to a whole 'nother level.

I'm walking from Penn Station to the PATH train at 33rd street. It's about 9:45 p.m., after an evening shift. I step out onto Sixth Avenue to cross over when the light changes; traffic is heavy, so the cars are lined up all the way back to the cross walk. All of a sudden, out of the traffic comes running a guy in baggy jeans and a white tee shirt, zig-zagging through the cars and now, through the people in the cross walk. Not two seconds later, out runs a cop, chasing the guy at full speed. The perp runs into oncoming traffic and GETS HIT BY A CAB. Women scream. There's gasping and shrieking. The guy rolls off the hood of the cab and it looks like it runs him over a little bit. The one thing I know for sure is that it hit him hard enough to knock his shoe off, because there is a big black high stop sneaker underneath the cab. The cop catches up and starts cuffing the guy while the guy is still lying, SHOELESS, on the ground.

Y'all, this might actually be the craziest thing I ever witnessed in my life, real close up. With the possible exception of this time a Camaro came flying through a red light, hit the car next to me and spun off into a median back a few years ago, and I miraculously did not soil the car seat.

But, no. This was nuts. And is therefore officially to be known from here on out as The Craziest Thing I Have Ever Witnessed.


cheers,
elizabeth