Esmerelda or whatever her name was said a lot of other shit, too, that I've long since forgotten. But that one little tidbit, that stuck with me. It's become some sort of weirdly specific and personal urban legend in my own mind. A seed planted long ago that is
She could. Crazier shit has happened.
At the time of this palm and tarot card reading, I was 19 and had never been in a relationship. And at the time, I'm sure I latched on to this piece of Esmerelda's predictions as proof that I would soon be experiencing wedded bliss with whoever it was I loved deeply at that exact moment. But in the years since, every new relationship brought back this memory of the little house on Summer and the crystal ball and the psychic who said my future mate was someone I'd already met.
When I dated guys who I didn't know at 19, I wrote it off as the rantings of a crazy lady who I paid $40 to give me life advice that was on the whole, even more vague than a daily horoscope. But when I dated guys I did know at 19, that little idea took over every corner of my brain, enabling and encouraging every little aspect of my Sheer Crazy to really be all that it could be. This was particularly true when I was dating He Who Shall Not Be Named, otherwise known as Boyfriend No. 4, who I was ready to walk down the aisle with until I realized that "Mrs. Douche Hole" just didn't have a great ring to it. The two of us didn't start dating until my senior year of college, but we'd actually met my first semester at Murray State, during the two or three weeks when we both worked for the student newspaper, before he was politely asked to leave and never ever come back.
Naturally I told BN4 about Esmerelda and her prediction somewhere in the middle of discussing our hypothetical wedding and naming our hypothetical children. I wonder if he was thinking about Esmerelda while he was cheating on me. Hmm.
The thing is, that lovely clairvoyant woman has been on my mind a little bit lately. For starters, because it's been ages since I've been to a psychic and I'd love to get a reading done. When I was in college I had a good friend who read tarots and she would give me readings all the time, on anything I wanted. Of course, she lives several hours away now and Esmerelda and her psychic friends require cold hard cash to decipher your future.
But it's not just that. Remember how I went to that wedding? And I kissed that boy? The one I used to date many moons ago? Mr. BN2? Well, it didn't exactly end there.
We've been talking non-stop since then. And it's been fantastic. Invigorating. And of course Esmerelda's been all up in my brain, poking at me. Reminding me of what she said to me at 19. At 19, when the person I was over the moon, can't think, can't eat, can't sleep crazy about was -- can you guess? -- the one and only BN2.
Now, I'm not ready to make any proclamations or predictions, myself. Far from it. I'm cautiously excited but at the same time nervous and unsure. We're currently etching out some details about when we'll see each other next, and I know that when we do, the stakes will be high. He's in law school nine hours away from me at least until May, so even if things are so fantastic upon our next reunion that the world flies right off its axis, we'll be long-distance til then, if not longer. There are a lot of things to consider, to say the very least.
But at the same time, something about it feels completely right. Comfortable in the best way.
I think we'll call him Mr. Second Chance.
cheers,
elizabeth
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