the reality of mr. right

Saturday night at the Flying Saucer, Lindsey turned to me and said, "We need to go somewhere to meet guys."

Some hours later, when we both agreed we did not know where this mythical place might be, I suggested that we host our own singles night, specifically for liberal-thinking, religiously unconcerned people.

And then shortly after that we both agreed again that while this was a good idea in theory, we'd probably be the only ones there.

I've recently been bandying about the idea that maybe exactly what I'm looking for doesn't exactly exist. I'm sure that there are certain specifications of my preferred partner that I'd be willing to budge a little on as long as the rest were securely in place, but I don't really know which ones those are and I don't imagine I will know until I find the person who meets all the other ones.

I've never considered myself someone with unattainable standards when it comes to men. I think that the all-star roster of ex-boyfriends to my credit goes light years toward proving THAT point. I'll absolutely admit to having specific and sometimes stringent requirements for compatibility, and perhaps more deal breakers than most. But I figure this is the one area of my life where I really have zero, zilch, NADA interest in settling. If I know what I want, why should I accept a substitute?

Maybe because the real thing isn't out there? This is the thought that's been floating around in my head recently. And not in a Debbie Downer sort of way, trust me. I'm not moping about the house stuffing my face with Ben & Jerry's and contemplating my future as a robe-wearing spinster because Mr. Right is an anomaly. That's all very romantic and passionate, whereas the realization I've had recently falls more in the rational and realistic category. This guy I have sketched according to my Husband Blueprint just might not be out there.

I suppose right now it's a semi-moot point, since I've been announcing to anyone who will listen (which is not many people, let's be real here) that I'm not interested in dating or a relationship at LEAST until fall, preferably for the next six months. I just need to enjoy being single for a while. Because I do SO enjoy it.

But after that? I'm just not convinced that MY Mr. Right isn't just a figment of my imagination. Because let's say Lindsey and I did throw our singles party and there was a big group of single, liberal, religiously unconcerned men who are wickedly intelligent and like good music and maybe even some of them play an instrument and maybe even a handful of them have a good sense of humor, too! Those factors, while all on my necessary and semi-necessary list, don't necessarily equate to compatibility all on their own.

I have friends who have theories about soul mates and a multitude of Mr. Could-Be-Rights for each person. And then, of course, there's the subset of people (men) who would tell me I need to "lower my standards." What do you think?


cheers,
elizabeth