Naturally, when the temperatures finally dipped back down into the double digits and it was un-oppressive enough to sit on patios again, the humidity decided to throw us a whopping one-two punch just in time for the inaugural patio crawl through Cooper Young.
And since my hair + humidity = Tina Turner circa Private Dancer, we sat inside. And took strategic sips while standing on patios. SUE ME. So the patio part kind of epically failed, but the crawl part stayed very much intact.
We hit up Beauty Shop first, where I indulged in two of the best mojitos I've ever had. They really do a divine job on cocktails there, and I tend to the think the mojito is one of their best. Rather than relocating next door to Do, Lindsey and I sauntered over onto the Do patio for a minute to take the following picture in which I am totally, obviously cheating, but very clearly completely okay with it.
After that we skipped off to Cafe Ole to gorge ourselves on cheese dip and Dos Eqis. And we actually sat on the patio! Success!At Cafe Ole we ran into a friend from high school and ended up sitting in his section on the patio. Of course, 'friend from high school' is a tad misleading since Lindsey, Elizabeth and I have all known him since elementary school or earlier. (I had crossed paths with him during my Race to 3 A.M. earlier in the week, actually.) Seeing him jogged my memory on one of my better Tales of Awkward, which I naturally shared with the group. It all went down in the seventh grade, when I broke up with my boyfriend simply so I could ask this guy out. I do believe I had some type of misguided hunch that he was into me, too. To the best of my knowledge, scientists are calling the phenomenon that led me to this belief "being friendly." Naturally, he said no, too, and what did I do? Turned right around and asked the Ex to be my boyfriend again. Shockingly, he said no, and pointed out the very obvious reason I'd dumped him. My stellar defense? "No I didn't!" Not surprisingly, that did not work out in my favor.
And here is your (disturbing) proof that I drank on the patio at Cafe Ole.
After our cheese dip and Dos Eqis, we headed next door to Young Avenue Deli, where we once again did not manage to sit on the patio. Whoops. (I'm going to be begging for an extension on my deadline here pretty soon. I hope you're feeling generous.) We were, however, joined there by Mr. November. There was some kind of boxing match or fight or episode of Two Dudes in Shorts Hug Each Other in a Roped-Off Ring on television, so the place was pretty packed, but we were able to snipe a table.
Much like the Night of the Drunken Santa, though, this really wasn't our crowd. So Lindsey, Mr. November and I decided to head downtown to meet up with Nathan, a friend of mine from college, and a bunch of his colleagues who were in town for the weekend on business. They were on Beale Street, which we were able to talk them into leaving, and we met them at Flying Saucer. It was great to see Nathan and his co-workers were decently cool. For some reason I was demanding to see everyone's government issued ID. Let's keep in mind that I was not at all drunk. I'm just that crazy in real life.
Of course, they all handed it over without a solitary second of hesitation. So I might be crazy, but they totally went along with it.
After we shut the Saucer down, we decided to drag Nathan and his friend to Alex's Tavern. Which seemed like a super good idea at the time, and then I think we lasted maybe half an hour there. Everyone was fading. So I hauled them back to their hotel in east Memphis and headed back to midtown. Lindsey's passed out cold in the front seat as I pull up to Mr. November's house to drop him off. He asks me to get out of the car to say goodnight properly, so I put the green bean in park and get out to give him a hug. Only, he didn't really just want a hug. I should've known better -- nothing innocent happens after about 1 a.m., and that includes the disturbing food sins that I was about to commit.
For some reason I see this as a good moment to tell him that we should just be friends. He says something like, "We should, but I'm ridiculously attracted to you." And I think, it's possible, that in the most accidentally bitchy moment of my life, I responded, "I know." Yikes.
Needless to say, I shut that whole situation down, and next thing I know it's 4:15 and I'm sitting in the drive-through at Krystal's with Lindsey.
And then next thing I know after that? It's 1:30 in the afternoon on Sunday, I've finally come to and every part of my body is in the throes of mutiny with my brain.
My brain, of course, quickly accepted full responsibility for all of it, did not put up a fight, and swore up and down it would never happen again. But we've heard that before. We've definitely heard that before.
cheers,
elizabeth
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