While at a social function recently, I fell into a fountain.
(Sentences like that, right? That's why you keep coming back week after week. I know it is.)
I made the mistake of trying to step onto the brick ledge surrounding the fountain to squeeze by a group of people to get to the other side. I was convinced I could take just one step. That was all I needed! I knew it was slick. (The algae was VISIBLE.) But I figured one teensy, tiny step couldn't hurt, and then I'd be off the fountain and safely on the ground on the other side.
WRONG.
I was off the ledge after that one teensy, tiny step, alright. Off the ledge and directly into the fountain.
But let's accentuate the positive here, people. I remained completely upright -- in HEELS, no less! -- and my plate of food and full can of beer stayed safely in hand. It's possible I lost a few stray pieces of cold slaw and there was a severe foamage situation occurring in the top of my Miller Lite when I returned to it, but the damage was minor. My shoe was soaked, of course, and I had splashes of water covering the bottom of my dress, but really? Barely noticeable!
Well, except for the applause that may have occurred directly following the initial fountain dismount.
A few minutes after it happened, someone said to me, "You handled that so well! You don't even seem embarrassed." And I said, "Oh, don't you worry. I'm MORTIFIED. But when you're basically semi-pro at making an ass of yourself, you get real good at hiding the evidence."
cheers,
elizabeth
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