12.01.2011

defining abject terror

At such point in time as I actually manage to live through this whole starting-a-business thing, I think I'm going to write a book. And that book is going to be called: You Can't Tell Me What to Do (The Slightly Embellished but Mostly True Story of How I Got Laid Off, Got Angry & Started a Business that Probably Should've Never Worked, Ever).

That'll fit on The Times' best-seller list, right?

In one of the chapters in that book -- maybe the first chapter? -- I'm going to talk about abject terror. Many people might feel that describing just about anything as "abject terror" leans a tad on the side of hyperbole. I submit to you that these people have never started a business.

For those of us who have, abject terror is as common as a Tuesday afternoon. Or a Wednesday morning. Or maybe both! Today, as I was running some errands in the middle of a ridiculous day that was situated right in the middle of an even MORE ridiculous week, I decided I was going to write this book because of this very thing: ABJECT TERROR.

Because when you decide to do something like this, no one tells you that between once and 700,578 times each week you will experience (wait for it) abject terror that you have, in fact, made just about the stupidest decison in the history, even, of stupid decisions. Even compared to, say, sticking a paper clip in an electrical socket -- which a classmate of mine did in the eighth grade because he "wanted to see what would happen" -- this decision still seems completely, painfully obviously DUMB.

And then you wake up the next morning and (usually) find it in your heart to go a little easier on yourself. Until the next time.

This is what I will talk about, in my book. I will say, entrepreneurs! Abject terror is real. You will feel it. For some of you, it will feel like you are at the top of the Sears Tower on one of those tight-rope-walking thing-a-ma-jigs. For some of you it will sort of feel like overtime in a Tigers game. PERMANENTLY. And some of you will probably just be constipated for six months.

But however it manifests itself -- and this is the sentence I'm predicting/hoping/praying will be included in this chapter, though I can't know yet for sure -- it does eventually go away.

You will live through it.

Allegedly.


cheers,
elizabeth